Alright, time for another look back at some art critique.
This is the second time I got some feedback from a super cool artist I randomly met.
I drew this around May 7th, 2024, posted it around the 18th, and finished the revisions from the critique around the 26th.
- Subject of the Critique
- Points of Critique
- My Responses and Revisions
- Think about the weight of the mochi (and the size too!). Gravity!
- Check the proportions of the ears and eyes!
- Is the back of her head too big? (They included a reference of a huge-headed base)
- I wanna feel the shoulders a bit more, like their position and existence.
- Where’s the boobage??
- The 3D feel of the hand… (referring to her right hand hanging down)
- The shape of the skirt is off.
- (Referring to her left hand making a peace sign) It’s not impossible, but the pose isn’t very cute.
- The body parts and clothes parts are all over the place!
- Do some research on how to draw the bangs! Look at reference pics!
- When thinking about poses, look at a ton of official art!
- People tend to forget clothing structure, so look it up!
- High-quality cosplayers are insane reference material!
- Try drawing a lower body next time!
- Summary
Subject of the Critique
Ononoki Yotsugi from Bakemonogatari. Yay!
I’m a huge fan of the Monogatari series. I’ve seen every single anime, including the movies.
Yotsugi isn’t necessarily my top fave, but I do like her a lot.
I guess my top two would be Hitagi Senjougahara and then Tsubasa Hanekawa.
But for some reason, I chose Ononoki this time.
It’s always kinda cringe to look at my own art after a while.
I always find a ton of weird stuff…
Points of Critique
(My thoughts in parentheses)
- Think about the weight of the mochi (and the size too!). Gravity!
- Check the proportions of the ears and eyes!
- Is the back of her head too big? (They included a reference of a huge-headed base)
- I wanna feel the shoulders a bit more, like their position and existence.
- Where’s the boobage??
- The 3D feel of the hand… (referring to her right hand hanging down)
- The shape of the skirt is off.
- (Referring to her left hand making a peace sign) It’s not impossible, but the pose isn’t very cute.
- The body parts and clothes parts are all over the place!
- Do some research on how to draw the bangs! Look at reference pics!
- When thinking about poses, look at a ton of official art!
- People tend to forget clothing structure, so look it up!
- High-quality cosplayers are insane reference material!
- Try drawing a lower body next time!
My Responses and Revisions
It was the second time getting critiqued, so they were really on point with my weaknesses. Gotta face ’em, even if I can’t fix ’em. Here’s how I tried to revise everything, looking back.
And damn, 14 points. That’s a lot…
(When there are two pics side by side, the left is the before, the right is the after, unless stated otherwise.)
Think about the weight of the mochi (and the size too!). Gravity!
I changed it from looking like a ball sitting on her head to looking like it’s actually on her head. Looking back, I could’ve made it look even more squished. The official art makes it look kinda thinner.
Check the proportions of the ears and eyes!
This was about the face parts being off and not looking like the original. I tried to fix it, but it still looks weird, and I didn’t nail Ononoki’s eyes. They even sent me a detailed breakdown of the eyes, but I totally failed to use it. My skills are just… ugh.
She’s got a unique color scheme, hair, and accessories, so people who know her can tell who it is, but I should’ve made the face more accurate. Lesson learned.
This keeps coming up in critiques, but drawing characters accurately is HARD.
Is the back of her head too big? (They included a reference of a huge-headed base)
The usual anatomy problem. I think I’m getting better, but back then, I was posting characters with messed-up anatomy like it was no big deal.
Looking at the revised pic, her head and neck are kinda off.
Like I said in my first critique reflection, I guess I should be happy I’m noticing these things now.
I wanna feel the shoulders a bit more, like their position and existence.
Another anatomy issue.
Her shoulders were too droopy.
I think shoulders are important for expressing femininity, and these shoulders ain’t cute.
I usually draw the body before the clothes, but I guess my poses are off, and I suck at drawing fabric.
I don’t have the original body layer anymore, so I’m just guessing.
I’ll try to keep those layers next time.
Lately, I’ve been merging layers like crazy, so I don’t have many layers left.
Where’s the boobage??
She’s not a busty character, so I made her chest flat, but I didn’t mean to. So, I added a little something.
I prefer big boobs, but I’m so bad at drawing them.
It’s embarrassing.
The 3D feel of the hand… (referring to her right hand hanging down)
Didn’t fix this at all.
They said it looked flat, but I just changed the pose a bit.
I know drawing hands is hard for beginners, but I could’ve done better.
Here’s a hand I drew today.
It’s better than the old one, I think. But it’ll probably look weird next week.
The shape of the skirt is off.
I’d probably draw it differently now, but they meant it should flare out from the start, not go down and then flare.
They weren’t as enthusiastic about this one.
I know my clothing structure knowledge is weak. Gotta work on that.
Fabric is scary.
(Referring to her left hand making a peace sign) It’s not impossible, but the pose isn’t very cute.
Yeah, a side peace sign is way cuter.
They just have a much bigger cuteness library than I do.
And now I see the face shading is totally backwards…
It’s good to notice these things when reviewing old art. Good learning experience.
The body parts and clothes parts are all over the place!
The body and clothes aren’t aligned. Mostly around the waist.
Like with the skirt, I need to work on my fabric understanding, observation skills, and posing.
I wanna be able to draw flowy clothes and fabric like a pro.
Someone said drawing maids is good practice.
Maids are awesome.
Do some research on how to draw the bangs! Look at reference pics!
Didn’t fix this much, and I didn’t really get what they meant.
Ononoki’s bangs are parted in the middle and hang straight down, but I drew them kinda lifted.
I messed up the hair.
I wasn’t trying to change it, but my observation skills failed me again.
More regrets.
When thinking about poses, look at a ton of official art!
This was more advice than a critique.
They sent me four official pics, telling me to use them as reference so I don’t stray too far from the character.
People tend to forget clothing structure, so look it up!
They circled the parts of my clothes that were wrong and sent me more official art.
Mostly the collar, chest, and back.
High-quality cosplayers are insane reference material!
They sent me a pic of an amazing cosplayer.
Don’t know who they are, so I can’t post the pic, but they nailed Ononoki’s look!
The clothes looked handmade too.
Try drawing a lower body next time!
They started asking for full-body pics around this time.
I know it’s good to draw full-body, but I like drawing big faces, so it kinda bums me out.
If I could draw faster, I’d have time for all sorts of stuff, but I’m super slow.
So, I ended up spending a ton of time redrawing my art for these critiques.
It was super stressful. Felt like I was rejecting myself.
I’m over it now, but it was hard for a beginner.
Summary
It was my second critique, so they were really invested.
It’s up to me to make the most of it and get better.
I promised to send another pic for critique in April, so I gotta keep this in mind.
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