Correction Result#8

This is suddenly #8, but I may write about past works as well as a look back when things settle down.

This category is an article to sincerely respond to the feedback I received from a doujinshi artist (can we say “coterie artist”?) whom I happened to know, and whose request to correct my drawings started as a joke that he was willing to correct my work for free.

This is a relatively long article, though it will be entirely in text and images.

To be honest, there are times when I receive some hard criticism, but I am still too grateful that they take the time out of their busy schedules to look at my drawings and give me pointers.

Subject of correction

The subject of this correction is here.
I’ll also embed it for the sake of promoting BlueSky.

私が歌う仕方ないね#初音ミク#重音テト

— アサト夜 (@yoruasato.bsky.social) 2024-12-31T12:28:43.900Z

Basically, we try to include one or more first attempts in the illustrations we ask you to correct in order to create an illustration.

The two points for the first time this time are as follows

• Character with face seen from the side
• Draw two people in one illustration

The point I added as a point I would like to see corrected was that I would like to know what to look for when writing a face from the straight side.

Points raised in the correction

I have received the results of the corrections as images, but I have been asked not to reproduce them due to embarrassment, so I will list the points made in text form. The figures in parentheses are my personal opinions.

• Did you have that cartoon character look in mind or something?
• This pose kills Miku’s muscles. …… (Mainly her left leg.)
• In profile, be careful with the size of the back of her head! （It’s a bit big.)
• It’s easier to balance if you place a circle (with sample drawings)
• Also, think about the position of the twin tails! (Badly positioned)
• Be careful about the position and thickness of the neck (too thin?)
• Tet’s back might be too straight. It’s going to take a lot of abdominal muscles.
  →Shaving the back makes the belly look attractive! (I like it a lot)
• Move the skirt a little if you want to show your hips (I didn’t mean to ……!)

In general

『Overall, each individual body part may appear disconnected.
Connections? Is that what you call it ……?　Let’s make the body flow more smoothly.
→Teto’s waist to right leg area is well done, though! (Thank you!)

I’m putting a lot of effort into each part, so it’s easy for the size and length to fall apart.

Profile, think about what kind of profile you like in the first place!
(Especially if it’s a more realistic picture.) Pictures of cosplayers can be helpful. (I’ve been told this before.)

Let’s see if it’s a pose we can actually do, and try it out on our own bodies!』

Responses and actions to the points raised

I continue to be thoroughly beaten up. Thank you for your every kindness.

I will try to answer & respond one at a time.

Did you have that cartoon character look in mind or something?

No, I don’t. My understanding of cartoon characters is insufficient to begin with.

I think they have thicker lines, and their eyes are more deformed in some parts.

I also have an image of foreign illustrations.

I guess this is a question or a point of view, but I’m not sure if it’s just this, so I’ll ask him directly at a later date. However, since I am not conscious of cartoon style, I may get another point if it is different from the original.

This pose kills Miku’s muscles.

Yes, I did. I was aware of it for a while, but by the time I realized it, I had reached a point where I could not turn back with my skills, so I folded my left knee as a desperate measure, resulting in a pose where the muscles collapsed.

This was originally a more natural pose, but when I combined it with Teto, I was at a loss because my left leg felt like it was going through the ground. The rough lines were still there, but they were excerpted (see below).

Miku’s left knee is around Tet’s belly, so drawing Miku’s left leg all the way down to her foot would cause all sorts of weirdness: ……

He analyzed that it was because he had not drawn the ground when he rough-drawn the two, but another thing he regretted was that he had initially drawn them in A4 portrait and wanted to draw them a little lower, so he extended the canvas size downward, which resulted in emphasizing the funny position of the two.

I also received a sample drawing of this that reviewed the overall balance, and I redrew it according to this sample, albeit at a large rough level.

On the left is the original drawing, in the middle is the bare body as it was at the time of the rough drawing, and on the right is the redrawn rough drawing.

The right arm of the bare body is posed differently, but after wandering around during the drawing process, I finally put my hand down with a microphone.

When redrawing, I also drew the ground and was aware of the posture from the ground.

Adjust the right leg slightly higher at the knee as well to accommodate the change in posture.

Also, although it was not directly pointed out to me, the pose had the right arm resting on the right knee, and the right shoulder should be a little more forward (such was the sample), which I thought was more natural.

I think I need to take a selfie.

In profile, be careful with the size of the back of her head!

Your point about the back of Mik’s head. If you ask me, the back of the head is indeed dilated.

It wasn’t so when I was drawing the lines, but when I noticed it during the color roughing process, it had expanded.

I guess this means that I am not aware of this. It is a point of great reflection.

In the first place, the left side of the picture had a flat head, so I thought that the way the hair was arranged was a mistake.

The same applies to the following three points.

・It’s easier to balance if you place a circle (with sample drawings)
・Also, think about the position of the twin tails! (Badly positioned)
・Be careful about the position and thickness of the neck (too thin?)

I should have looked more at the original drawing for the position of the twin tails, and I should have referred to pictures of twin tails. I did not gather enough data.

As for the position and thickness of the neck, this was also deformed at the time of color roughing, as was the back of the head.

This is a clean version, but it would have been better to paint the neck as the neck, even though the neck was painted as the hair, to balance the overall effect.

The neck looks thinner than it is at first glance.

The area around the face is important, so I made the following corrections to this area as well.

I also repositioned the head, neck, and twin tails. Although it is superimposed on the original picture, I feel that it has become somewhat more balanced when viewed as a whole below.

Tet’s back might be too straight. It’s going to take a lot of abdominal muscles.

Use your abdominal muscles a lot!

It is true that a picture with a bent or twisted posture often looks better as an illustration than a picture with a straight posture.

I would like to incorporate as much as possible into my illustrations at this point, because just by warping or angling them a little, the impression they give can be completely changed.

I’ll try to fix this place too.

As above, the left is the original drawing, the middle is the rough sketch, and the right is the redrawn rough sketch.

The original is different, though.

I couldn’t get the grounding from the left hip to the leg right. Also, oddly, the perspective is working on my right hand. ……

It is difficult.

I’m not sure I have a good representation of what it feels like to have breasts stretched out (back arched), so I’m going to try to find another photo reference or something to replicate it.

I don’t have breasts, so I don’t really know how taut the milk is when the breasts are stretched.

ove the skirt a little if you want to show your hips

I didn’t want to show my hips, but I was convinced that it would look better if they were visible, so I’m going to make an effort to show them.

I don’t think I can draw sensitive illustrations with my current drawing ability, and I don’t have that much desire to draw ecchi pictures, although I would like to try if I could, but I don’t want to spare no effort to increase what I can do. However, I do not want to spare any effort to increase what I can do.

It may seem unclear if you cut it out, but it is a point that I would like to be aware of in the future as a way to make skirts flutter.

When I was drawing the rough sketches, I found a way to draw skirts that seemed to fit well.

I don’t plan to draw skirts next time.

Miku and Teto combined

Combined with the fixed rough.

Compared to the original, I am aware that it looks more natural (but not unnatural).

I am reminded every time that I need to train my eyes more and more, because it is my own coloring and I don’t notice it while I am painting.

Also, I think I should actually draw a line to see where the ground is, even if it is just a single line.

Like this time, I’ll have trouble later.

General review section

Overall, each individual body part may appear disconnected.
Connections? Is that what you call it ……?　Let’s make the body flow more smoothly.

I had a drawing done that looked like this. Now it looks like the box man on the right, he said.

*Please turn away from the quality above.

However, this in itself is a point of reflection, but I was told that I couldn’t even draw the box in the first place in my previous correction remarks, so I’m not sure if I’ve made some progress …… or ……?

If you ask me, it is true that I often draw joints and joints with a lot of cracks.

The connection between the arm and hand, in essence, is the wrist, and I am not very good at drawing this wrist.

Even if the silhouette is just straight down, it often looks unnatural, and it is a point that bothers me every time. I want to know the right answer.

I’m not just talking about the wrists, but this whole silhouette problem, and I thought that the very drawing that I usually practice as a warm-up would be effective.

In other words, it’s not working swell at the moment.

*Drawing articles will be listed separately. I draw something like this (see below)

When I draw, I have a routine of drawing 10 30-second drawings and 5 60-second drawings in Pose Maniacs before I start drawing the picture I want to draw.
Looking back on it now, I feel that in many cases I am not fully aware of the flow of the body because I am pressed for time, which is too short.

Drawing this piece by piece.

If I can draw this in more connected lines, it will be the first step to get rid of “box man. I will do my best.

I had no idea what this practice itself meant at first, and I started doing it with blind faith as I was told, but I began to realize that it was meaningful to me because Pomani’s poses are so maniacal that I had to draw in poses and angles I had never drawn before, so I could gain pure (though thin) experience. I began to realize that I could accumulate pure experience.

But when I heard this practice, I do remember you saying a ‘body flow’ kind of word.

I didn’t understand it properly.

Profile, think about what kind of profile you like in the first place!

I’m probably new to the term “favorite profile” itself.

I can’t think of any particular profile that I like at the moment.

If I had to say, I like faces with an “low-angle shot. This is not limited to the profile, though, is it?

I also like the flowing eyes.

In this illustration, neither of the two girls is looking at me, so it’s hard to apply this to their faces, but I guess the bottom line is that you have to be aware of what kind of face you want to draw.

Let’s see if it’s a pose we can actually do, and try it out on our own bodies!

This point. There seems to be a lot of controversy about this, but for this illustration, I thought I should accept this point of view.

I noticed this point during the process and had some trouble with it, and I even posed it while looking in the mirror in the bath. (Naked).

Even if the perspective or drawing is wrong in some illustrations, or even if the pose is not possible, it is possible that the artist “dared” to make it wrong, or “dared” the viewer to take that pose. It is possible that the artist “dared” to draw the pose in a way that was “crazy” or “daring” even if the pose was not normally possible. So, in order to avoid receiving similar comments in the future, I would like to be able to draw in a way that looks natural when I want it to look natural, and in the case of a dare, I would like to be able to draw in a way that conveys the “dare” properly.

It’s soooo hard to do.

summary

It would be best if I could redraw everything including the coloring, but I am not confident that I can fully correct this large number of points in terms of layers, so I had to reflect on the rough sketch of the body, but I like this drawing a lot, so I would like to remake it somewhere.

By the way, it may look like a messy rough, but it took me about 1.5 hours just to rough these two bodies ……. I want to be able to shave off time …….

By the way, it took me about an hour to write this article.

I have decided on the mood of the next painting I want to do, but I am not sure if I can do it right. But I want to make progress, little by little, so I will keep working on it without breaking down or getting bored.